


Hotter Than Hell

by somethingscarlet13



Category: Cuphead (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, And because I love her, I put Pirouletta in here because I love her and because I feel like she’d be the one with good ideas, Lust, M/M, Makeover, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Rejection, Smoking, Swearing, Teasing, Unrequited Lust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 06:28:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13653339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somethingscarlet13/pseuds/somethingscarlet13
Summary: Or Why Dice Dresses the Way He Does.In which Pirouletta is a friend and King Dice needs to get over a crush.





	Hotter Than Hell

When it started to affect his job, Dice knew he had to do something.

Getting distracted, letting patrons go home with a little more than they had earned, letting his mind wander to those horns and that forked tongue. It was bad for business. It had to stop.

However, when your boss is not only the object of your affections but also the literal devil, that was easier said than done. Nothing impressed him, nothing caught his attention, and nothing even seemed to interest him besides cheating people into contracts.

There was nothing he could do besides pine, drink, then pine and drink some more.

Dice thought he was hiding his emotions at least well enough to not gain any suspicion from his coworkers, but found out that was the exact opposite of the truth one night when Pirouletta, the Russian woman who worked the roulette, joined him at the bar one evening, looked him dead in the eye, and asked, “Who is it?”

“Who is what?”

Pirouletta narrowed her eyes. “You are devil’s right hand man, yet you mope around. You are distracted. No one here has ever seen you like this over anything before, so only answer is that it is love. Who is it?”

“Our boss,” Dice admitted sourly. When Pirouletta’s eyebrows jumped, he snickered. “Quite the problem, isn’t it?” He sighed. “I only wish there was a way I could get over it. Cut this emotion out and go back to how things used to be.”

“Then do it,” insisted the blonde. “Get over the silly emotion, crush it under heel.”

“How?!” Cried the dark skinned man. “Just go up to him and tell him how I feel? He’ll kill me!”

“Yes, that is exactly what you do.”

Dice froze and blinked in surprise. “Really?”

“No, you dumb fuck! You only believe me because I have accent and because I don’t crack smile! Like you say, if you do that he will kill you!”

Dice shot her a look and began to get up. “You’re no help at all.”

“You didn’t let me finish,” Pirouletta said, and Dice crossed his arms, standing in front of her.

“You want to get attention? You want the boss to feel even a fraction of what you feel? The answer is simple. You look the part.”

“Look the part.”

“ _Da_. Get haircut. Change clothes. Then waltz in here like it is you who owns the place and make everybody want to fuck you.”

Dice thought it over. “That........might just work.”

Pirouletta scoffed. “Of course it will work. It is my idea.”

And with that she turned to flag down one of the three bartenders, leaving Dice to plan out the perfect makeover.

************************************

“WHERE IS THAT GOOD FOR NOTHING LACKY?!” Roared the devil the next day when Dice was nowhere to be found.

Nobody dared answer their boss when he was angry, and the lack of replies only added fuel to the fire. “I SAID, WHERE IS THAT GOOD FOR NOTHING KING DICE?!”

“Right here, boss.”

All heads turned to the entrance of the casino, where a barely recognisable Dice stood in the doorway.

Gone was the regular black and white tux, replaced with a royal purple suit with tail feathers and a bow tie to match. His hair had been cut short on both sides but kept long on top, some of which fell into his eye slightly. He was wearing a deep purple eyeshadow and lipstick that complemented his suit, and was grinning, all teeth.

“Is there something I can help you with, boss?” He asked almost innocently, taking a long drag of the cigar he was holding between two fingers, beginning to walk forward.

The devil swallowed thickly, eyes focused only on the way Dice’s new suit showed off the shape of his body (had his arms always been that well defined?), on the purple lipstick (had his lips always been that full?), on his hair (had he always wanted to feel it between his fingers and pull?).

“Is there something you want to say to me?” Dice purred once he was closer, taking another suck at his cigar, making the devil envy it.

All anger gone, replaced with a desire he had never felt before that pooled in his gut and made him hot all over, the devil himself stumbled over words as he shakily asked, “W-would you like to—to go out on a date sometime?”

Dice’s eyes narrowed and he grinned as he leaned in so close to the devil the two were practically nose to nose.

“Oh, boss,” he cooed, taking another hit of his cigar. He exhaled, smoke blowing directly into the devils face, smile growing.

“No.”

******************************

“I see things back to normal for you,” Pirouletta remarked.

It had been a few days since Dice had publicly rejected the devil and he was as happy as could be.

“You were right, Pirouletta. Once I had that power over him only to turn him down, I’ve been feeling like my old self again.”

“And you’ve kept the new look.”

Dice nodded. “But of course! I look great, I feel great, and just between you and me,” here he leaned in a little closer, “I have a feeling the boss enjoys it too.”

The two looked up to where the devil was standing across the room, staring almost longingly at Dice. When he noticed the two looking back at him, he quickly turned his head away.

Dice snickered. “Definitely enjoys it too.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> For the record, this was inspired by that Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy episode where Mandy gets a crush and then gets all dressed up only to turn the guy down.


End file.
